Sometimes you just have to fight

When your child is in crisis, you do what you must to keep them calm.

That should be the mantra of every parent, and for the ones who are trying hard to be better and stand up for their kids, it is, but it isn’t always met with compassion and empathy from others.

Case in point a ticket I received in September of last year. We were new parents to St. Willibrord, and anyone who had or has children there knows it’s a parking nightmare when you’re in a rush.

Parents park in the front of the school, near the gate, which is the drop-off point from 7:42 to 7:50, precisely. They park in a no-parking zone, which allots 15 minutes for drop-off.

Across the street is also a two-car no parking zone, but it does not allot the 15 minutes – or any minutes at all – for parents hurrying to make the gate.

So, I pulled up with my son, who was five years old at the time, and he was upset. He has special needs, including severe anxiety and a heavy dislike of transitional change, and I was there, holding his hand and comforting him as he went to a new school and new grade level (kindergarten) that is much different from daycare and Step by Step.

When I got back to the car, a police officer was writing a ticket for myself and a pregnant Black lady who was parked in front of me, with the same anxiety of having to get her child to school on time.

I pleaded my case, but he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t care. So, I vowed to fight in court because it’s ridiculous to target a parent during such a stressful time, with a child who has special needs, just to make money for Chateauguay.

I contested the ticket and went to court this week not caring if I won or lost, but I needed to make a point. I wanted to state my case to a judge to let them know how wrong the whole thing was.

The crown prosecutor pulled me aside to ask if I wanted to “settle” the case before trial, which I thought was weird, and  to which I replied no, I want to see the judge. What would they offer me? A $30 fine?

It’s not like this was a huge criminal case in which I had to try to get out of doing time.

I explained to the judge what I had to, with two key parts.

The first was how my son needed me that day, about his special needs and really bad anxiety, and how I didn’t have time to park elsewhere; he was having a meltdown and I needed to get him to his new school, new grade, and new teacher, promptly.

Note how many “news” there are. For a child with special needs, that’s a lot of transition and a powder keg to try to navigate.

The judge empathized with me on that part, and said she understood.

The second part was about the police officer and his actions. He clearly targets parents at St. Willibrord. I wanted to make it a point that this is what he’s doing and it’s wrong. Entrapment was a word I used often enough.

After I was given the ticket, I did some sleuthing and saw the same cop parked in front, perform an illegal U-turn, and nab parents at the same spot on at least two occasions after that. He’s waiting to pounce on parents who are dropping their kids at school. You can’t get much lower than that.

He parks and waits and picks and chooses who he targets. We saw it firsthand.

The judge said two things: First, she couldn’t comment on or discipline the cop because this particular case involved me parking illegally, it was the only question before her, and it isn’t her place to do so at this time.

She had to apply the law and find me guilty because I was parked illegally, she said, under a rigid system which does not allow for human deviation, life, and reality.

Who is that no parking sign protecting? It would help parents, and it hinders no one by parking there for a few minutes.

I get her point of view, and I also know (and hoped) judges can make calls based on the law and based on reality, and this judgement could have been suspended.

Her version of leniency was to waive the fees with the judgement, and she gave me the option of how long I needed to pay.

Thirty days, your honour, but others aren’t so lucky.

But none of it was good enough, and it wasn’t about the $60 fine. It’s the principal of what’s going on at our son’s school and my attendance in court that day was more about fighting for him and the rights of other parents than it was about a win or a loss.

I have already started making calls to see if this “law” can be changed, but honestly, police officers should heed their sensitivity training and be helping parents, not treating us like criminals.

I will always fight for my family, just like I fight for my community daily, and this latest episode just showed how important it is for all of us to fight injustice, or nothing will ever change.

Wins don’t always result from fights to make things better, but it won’t end here. Just the act of fighting is a win to me.

One day I will explain to my son what I did for him, and he will see that his dad loves him no matter what and will always fight for justice in many forms, especially for my family.

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