Strong Sisters supports survivors

Fifteen years ago, Tina McComber was at a local support group for moms of teenagers.

What had started as a parenting group quickly took a turn, as each mother opened up about their experiences with sexual abuse and their fears for their teenage children.

“All of these participants were affected by sexual abuse, and the facilitators didn’t know what to do and didn’t know how to handle it,” McComber said. “Ever since then I knew something needed to be done, but nothing moved forward.”

While support groups for survivors have existed before in Kahnawake, McComber has continued to feel the absence of a group dedicated to supporting women in the community in discussing their experiences with sexual violence and how to handle it. That’s why she’s decided to join forces with Cheryl Lahache to form the Strong Sisters Group, a monthly support group for women focused on discussing sexual abuse.

“We felt like there was nothing in our community like this,” McComber said. “It’s a real need, and I’m really glad that we’re able to do this.”

For Lahache, it’s been an obvious gap in Kahnawake’s support offerings for years.

“I’ve been asking about sexual abuse support since I was 21 years old, and there’s been nothing in the community that offered that, I was always being sent to outside sources,” she said. “In the community there wasn’t even conversations about the topic, which is crazy because everyone here talks about it, but we only talk about it in private.”

Having connected with many other women in the community about sexual violence, Lahache and McComber know the issue is prevalent in Kahnawake – in 2020, an anonymous Twitter account shared community members’ submissions about sexual violence, and discussions were re-sparked then about the need for localized support for survivors.

Since then, the seed has been planted of creating their own group, and by creating Strong Sisters the two hope to destigmatize discussions about sexual abuse so that survivors know they aren’t alone.

“If we start talking about it more, it becomes a normalized conversation,” Lahache said.

The first session of Strong Sisters will take place next Wednesday, January 28, from 6 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. To start, the group will be open to a maximum of 10 participants, and participants should actively be seeing a psychologist or a support counsellor – something that Lahache and McComber decided to mandate to ensure that everyone is getting the appropriate support they need outside of the group.

“This is about peer support, and we want people to be working on these things with a proper person too, and then we can be peer supporters and show you that you’re not alone in this,” Lahache said.

The location of the group will remain private so that participants can feel safe attending, and anyone interested can reach out to Lahache or McComber directly to join.

“We have long-term goals, but this is step one of probably 100,” said McComber.

Both McComber and Lahache are experienced in working with survivors, and the group is independent of any local organization, with the two serving as independent wellness consultants and facilitators.

The goal is to create a space rooted in peer support, and participants shouldn’t feel that they need to divulge their own experiences with sexual abuse in order to attend – they just have to be ready to listen.

“A lot of us growing up feel alone, or feel shame and guilt that doesn’t belong to us. It’s for people to know they’re not alone, they’re safe, and they have a safe space to come and talk about it with like-minded people,” Lahache said. “I understand the fear, 100 percent, but we have to remind ourselves that we can’t allow shame to overtake our thoughts, and we can benefit from moving forward if we allow ourselves to do so.”

Both Lahache and McComber can be reached on Facebook, by phone at 514-776-6809, or by email at [email protected] and [email protected].

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